Someone says something you don’t like and you’re offended. Learn how to tell some you’re offended.
@clementspio Violence is not cool. But you should let your displeasure be known. #oscars #learnontiktok #tiktokclass #learningisfun #communication #fyp #adulting #howto
♬ AIN’T GONNA STOP – Carol Kay
By now we can all agree that assault is wrong and violence should never be the answer for anything that you don’t like, whether it’s someone’s words or someone’s actions.
What is not emphasized enough in this whole issue is – how do you let someone know that they have offended you.
How can we say it in a way that is professional and doesn’t escalate things further?
Well, there are issues where we can take it easy and just let it pass or just laugh it away.
But when there are issues that are close to our hearts or maybe, we want to protect our loved ones, how can we walk up to the person and let that person know that we’re offended and we’d like them to apologize?
1. Control Our Emotions
The first step, of course, is to control our emotions.
Once we let anger get over our heads it’s really very hard and difficult to have a rational conversation to show how serious this issue really is.
Next, we want to tell the person and these are the three things:
2. Specify Why You’re Offended
Be very specific about the exact words or the actions.
Even better, mention the time and place where you were offended or you weren’t happy about.
3. The Reason You’re Offended
Next, let the person know exactly why you are unhappy.
Because, to that person, they may think that it’s a joke. They may think that it’s a small issue.
You want to let the person know that it’s not a “small issue” to you.
4. What You’d Appreciated Instead
Finally, let the person know what you would have appreciated instead of that lousy remark or the action that was taken.
Here’s an example.
“Hey look, three days ago while you were on stage, you made fun of my wife’s appearance in front of everybody. Now it may seem like a joke to you but both my wife and I were very offended. She looks this way because she has a medical condition and she’s really very distressed by the whole medical process. I’d appreciate it if you leave my wife out of your future jokes and please go up to her, make an apology, and even better make a public apology.”
Now after this, the ball is in the offender’s court.
It’s up to the offender to react but at least on our end, we’ve made our intentions known.
It’s never easy to walk up to a person and let him or her know that you are offended.
But it’s definitely way better than violence.
Talking to the offender will help de-escalate the situation and make you the bigger person.
And at least the world will be a less chaotic place
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