How can we give a negative feedback without offending someone?
@clementspio There’s a simple way to make negative feedback less personal, more neutral, and more objective. Just change the subject from the person to the action, and in the process, reduce the number of “you”s. Takes a little getting used to, but it works wonders!
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No sugarcoating, go straight to the point, and yet be objective and non-personal.
All we have to do, is just to remove one word from the entire critique.
And, a little bit of getting used to.
See if you can catch which is the one word to remove.
So let’s say you have to tell someone
“Hey during the pitch to the client just now, I observed that you were stammering a lot which didn’t make you seem confident.
When he asked about the risks involved, I also noticed that you also didn’t address his specific concerns.”
By professional standards, this is a decently objective feedback.
There’s
- Situational reference
- Behaviorial observation, and
- The impact of their actions.
But if you’re the one receiving it, it may still hurt a little.
And it’s because of “you”
No, not you you. The word “you”.
So, how can you give this negative feedback in a less “hurtful” way?
Remove the word “you”
But, we can’t just delete it off the sentence. It won’t make any sense.
To give feedback in a less hurtful way, we have to remove the word “you”, by changing the subject from the person to the action.
“Hey during the pitch to the client just now, I observed that there was a lot stammering (by you)
which made the delivery (by you) less confident.
When he asked about the risks involved, I also noticed that his specific concerns weren’t addressed (by you).”
Now this same feedback is far more objective, and whoever is receiving this feedback will be more open to remedy action or appropriate self-improvement.
So remember, if you have to give negative feedback to our team or colleagues from time to time.
Don’t fear hurting them.
Change the subject from the person to the action, reduce the “you”s, and build better positive workplace relationships.
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