Have you ever felt super frustrated having to speak to someone but he/she just cannot connect to what you are saying?
Well, it might be because you aren’t speaking in their “thinking style”.
Specifically, the VAK (Visual, Auditory or Kinaesthetic style of thinking.
And here’s a simple trick to figuring out how a person really processes the information he/she gets:
Look at their eyes!
If they tend to look up UP while thinking, they are most likely Visualising concepts, images or playing out scenarios in the air.
Use phrases like “Can you see…”, “Imagine”, “Picture this…” or simply being more descriptive to help them visualise your ideas better.
If they tend to look Sideways, or even tilt their head while thinking / listening to you, they are most likely trying to Hear you better, or recall what has been said or what they have heard previously.
Use phrases like “Hear me out”, “It sounds like…” and being more deliberate in repeating certain phrases, using soundbites or simply, speaking slower. This will help them process your information and understand you better.
Finally, if they tend to look Downwards, these are the emotional people. They are most likely trying to figure out how they Feel (or maybe even talking internally to themselves).
And how do we communicate better with them? Use words like “I feel that”, “You’d be happy to know that “, “My experience is that…”. Using more sensory words to guide their feelings help too. The beautiful thing about communicating with Kinaestethic people is – you’re most likely able to foster a deeper connection with them.
So the next time, do observe your partner’s eyes more when you are speaking to them. You’d be able to find out some traits about them that they may not even be aware of!
Of course, if you’d like to find out more about yourself, a do check out the IEQ9 Personality Tests that we offer.
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