woman behind gold paper

Eyes Communicate Too!

Have you ever felt super frustrated having to speak to someone but he/she just cannot connect to what you are saying?

Well, it might be because you aren’t speaking in their “thinking style”.
Specifically, the VAK (Visual, Auditory or Kinaesthetic style of thinking.

And here’s a simple trick to figuring out how a person really processes the information he/she gets:

Look at their eyes!

If they tend to look up UP while thinking, they are most likely Visualising concepts, images or playing out scenarios in the air.

Use phrases like “Can you see…”, “Imagine”, “Picture this…” or simply being more descriptive to help them visualise your ideas better.

Eyes looking sideways - Auditory
Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

If they tend to look Sideways, or even tilt their head while thinking / listening to you, they are most likely trying to Hear you better, or recall what has been said or what they have heard previously.

Use phrases like “Hear me out”, “It sounds like…” and being more deliberate in repeating certain phrases, using soundbites or simply, speaking slower. This will help them process your information and understand you better.

Eyes looking down - Kinaesthetic
Image by 坤 张 from Pixabay

Finally, if they tend to look Downwards, these are the emotional people. They are most likely trying to figure out how they Feel (or maybe even talking internally to themselves).

And how do we communicate better with them? Use words like “I feel that”, “You’d be happy to know that “, “My experience is that…”. Using more sensory words to guide their feelings help too. The beautiful thing about communicating with Kinaestethic people is – you’re most likely able to foster a deeper connection with them.

So the next time, do observe your partner’s eyes more when you are speaking to them. You’d be able to find out some traits about them that they may not even be aware of!

Of course, if you’d like to find out more about yourself, a do check out the IEQ9 Personality Tests that we offer.

Also, do follow us on Tiktok for more fun content!

Ditch The Phrase “I’m Not Nervous!”

The first post was about controlling nervousness with one simple trick.

Now, let’s also talk about one common mistake we always make to combat nervousness – tell ourselves we are not.

Ditch this phrase!

As in the video, when you were told to NOT think about a hot pink unicorn, could you?

Most likely, you’d be thinking about the unicorn first, then try to cancel it out!

Why? Because our mind can’t “unthink” something.

So, when you say phrases like “I’m not nervous”, you are actually reinforcing the nervousness first, before trying to cancel it out.

So, Ditch the Phrase!
It’s making things worse!

So, next time, instead of saying “I’m not nervous”, go with positive reinforcements like

“I’m Confident.”
“I’m going to Ace it!”
“It’s going to be Cool.”

Ditch the Phrase "I'm not nervous!" and feel confident

You’re going to feel so much better!

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Achieve

Beyond SMART – To Better New Year Resolutions

For the past few days there’s been a certain commercial on TV that’s been probing my thoughts a little.

It’s a New Year Greeting snippet. And in this snippet, celebrities were discussing social media being awash with a flurry of New Year Resolution posts and joking about how no one keeps their resolutions.

It’s a New Year Greeting all in the name of fun.

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